Its been a few days since the last chemo...and I am sooo sleepy. Not sure how I am gonna stay up to watch Survivor tonight. Its only 5:45 and I want to go to bed.
I am back on track this week...had chemo on Tuesday and radiation everyday this week. Feeling ok other than being extremely sleepy.
Thats it for now!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
I'm here!!
So where to start ... in the past I have been awol in blogging just cuz there hasn't been much going on. Weeellllll this time is a little different...
It all started last week when I started my weekly doses of chemo called Docetaxol (Taxotere). Apparently its not supposed to be as bad as the FEC for nausea and some other symptoms. So going in for this treatment my spirits were high that I would get through it all like the first half. It was a 1.5 hr IV drip through my PIC line and with about 5 minutes remaining I started getting the feeling of a heavy chest. This drug can cause an allergic reactions and one of the symptoms is chest pain so I was immediately given an injection of benadryl which made me soooo sleepy and out of it. The benadryl didn't seem to help the chest discomfort so I was given a shot of Maalox and that seemed to help so I was given the OK to head home. Aside from sleepiness I did good the rest of Tuesday, and then Wednesday and Thursday I was out n about feeling good. About 3am Friday morning I woke with chest pain similar to the chest pain I felt right after chemo on Tuesday. After taking a dose of Maalox and it not going away Aaron and I decided to head to the ER. We got there around 4am and I was brought in immediately to have my vitals taken and then we waited and waited and I was seen by a doctor around 8:30am. Had blood taken and was sent for a chest xray and then waited for my Oncologist Dr. Dingle to come around. When Dr. Dingle arrived he said that from the chest xray he could see that the end of my PIC line was somehow bowing up against my heart. As soon as he pulled the PIC line out about 6cm I instantly felt some relief. Sheeeesh after all this time I KNEW something wasn't right, but nobody would listen to me. I was given another xray and it seemed to be in the right spot and my chest pain had gone away so then we were sent home at around noon which is when the ordeal ended. By this time I was starving, super stressed, and relieved all at the same time. Mom and Dad were there too and ended up driving me back home to Dad's, but on the way home the chest pain came back. To sum up several more hours I had chest pain til the next day... Dad taking blood pressure, temperature, and heart beat checks every few hours. After talking to Dr. Dingle on the phone a few times he prescribed me a med for gastro..something er other...stuff to inhibit the gas in the esophagus. It took about 24 hrs for the chest pain to go away.....basically Saturday night. Feeling perkier I was happy that the pain had subsided and I could finally get a good nights sleep. HOWEVER, I kind of got the feeling when you know you are coming down with something. And when I woke up on Sunday I had the worst upset stomach of my life for the whole day. I am thinking it was a stomach bug and for me ...when I catch a bug its like 10 times worse than a "normal person" not on chemo. So basically it was one of the worst weekends ever but Mom, Dad, and Aaron took good care of me all weekend!! I am truly grateful to have such a good family.
So the weekend rolls into Monday - yesterday. The plan WAS to get the weekly bloodwork done, see Dr. Dingle for a review, go to radiation, ,and then chemo Tuesday.
Well over the weekend it became very apparent that my heartrate was going a lot faster than it should be sitting between 110-120. I think this started sometime in the past 2 weeks... This is definitely a concern and I ended up staying at the Cancer Clinic to see a Cardiologist and had a lung scan and another chest xray performed. To sum up the day (we were there from 8:30am - 4pm) everything turned up clear and from what I am gathering they are attributing the fast heartbeat to the Epirubicin, one of the drugs from the first 3 chemo sessions. I guess it can be one of the side effects?! greeaaat . But in reality I don't think anyone is sure... I am being sent for an Echo cardiogram (if thats the right name!?) on Friday and if that comes back clear I am told that I will keep trucking on my chemo and radiation plan which has all been cancelled this week in light of my heart situation.
Overall I am a bit of an emotional basketcase the past few days. Just trying to regain some sort of normalcy in an "unnormal" situation. Today I went to the mall for an hour and almost had a meltdown in the car because just getting in the car to drive myself somewhere and listen to the tunes was emotional. And then I laid low and cleaned a corner of a room in the house with Mom and felt much better... at least I had control over where to put some odds n ends.
I am sorta relieved that they pushed this weeks chemo back but at the same time I just want to get on with everything and not prolong it. This is a loooong process and I think some emotions are starting to catch up with me... and I need to do the best I can to deal.
Tommorow I meet with the social worker and get my PIC line dressing changed, which is thankfully feeling much better since Friday.
Trucking onward......
It all started last week when I started my weekly doses of chemo called Docetaxol (Taxotere). Apparently its not supposed to be as bad as the FEC for nausea and some other symptoms. So going in for this treatment my spirits were high that I would get through it all like the first half. It was a 1.5 hr IV drip through my PIC line and with about 5 minutes remaining I started getting the feeling of a heavy chest. This drug can cause an allergic reactions and one of the symptoms is chest pain so I was immediately given an injection of benadryl which made me soooo sleepy and out of it. The benadryl didn't seem to help the chest discomfort so I was given a shot of Maalox and that seemed to help so I was given the OK to head home. Aside from sleepiness I did good the rest of Tuesday, and then Wednesday and Thursday I was out n about feeling good. About 3am Friday morning I woke with chest pain similar to the chest pain I felt right after chemo on Tuesday. After taking a dose of Maalox and it not going away Aaron and I decided to head to the ER. We got there around 4am and I was brought in immediately to have my vitals taken and then we waited and waited and I was seen by a doctor around 8:30am. Had blood taken and was sent for a chest xray and then waited for my Oncologist Dr. Dingle to come around. When Dr. Dingle arrived he said that from the chest xray he could see that the end of my PIC line was somehow bowing up against my heart. As soon as he pulled the PIC line out about 6cm I instantly felt some relief. Sheeeesh after all this time I KNEW something wasn't right, but nobody would listen to me. I was given another xray and it seemed to be in the right spot and my chest pain had gone away so then we were sent home at around noon which is when the ordeal ended. By this time I was starving, super stressed, and relieved all at the same time. Mom and Dad were there too and ended up driving me back home to Dad's, but on the way home the chest pain came back. To sum up several more hours I had chest pain til the next day... Dad taking blood pressure, temperature, and heart beat checks every few hours. After talking to Dr. Dingle on the phone a few times he prescribed me a med for gastro..something er other...stuff to inhibit the gas in the esophagus. It took about 24 hrs for the chest pain to go away.....basically Saturday night. Feeling perkier I was happy that the pain had subsided and I could finally get a good nights sleep. HOWEVER, I kind of got the feeling when you know you are coming down with something. And when I woke up on Sunday I had the worst upset stomach of my life for the whole day. I am thinking it was a stomach bug and for me ...when I catch a bug its like 10 times worse than a "normal person" not on chemo. So basically it was one of the worst weekends ever but Mom, Dad, and Aaron took good care of me all weekend!! I am truly grateful to have such a good family.
So the weekend rolls into Monday - yesterday. The plan WAS to get the weekly bloodwork done, see Dr. Dingle for a review, go to radiation, ,and then chemo Tuesday.
Well over the weekend it became very apparent that my heartrate was going a lot faster than it should be sitting between 110-120. I think this started sometime in the past 2 weeks... This is definitely a concern and I ended up staying at the Cancer Clinic to see a Cardiologist and had a lung scan and another chest xray performed. To sum up the day (we were there from 8:30am - 4pm) everything turned up clear and from what I am gathering they are attributing the fast heartbeat to the Epirubicin, one of the drugs from the first 3 chemo sessions. I guess it can be one of the side effects?! greeaaat . But in reality I don't think anyone is sure... I am being sent for an Echo cardiogram (if thats the right name!?) on Friday and if that comes back clear I am told that I will keep trucking on my chemo and radiation plan which has all been cancelled this week in light of my heart situation.
Overall I am a bit of an emotional basketcase the past few days. Just trying to regain some sort of normalcy in an "unnormal" situation. Today I went to the mall for an hour and almost had a meltdown in the car because just getting in the car to drive myself somewhere and listen to the tunes was emotional. And then I laid low and cleaned a corner of a room in the house with Mom and felt much better... at least I had control over where to put some odds n ends.
I am sorta relieved that they pushed this weeks chemo back but at the same time I just want to get on with everything and not prolong it. This is a loooong process and I think some emotions are starting to catch up with me... and I need to do the best I can to deal.
Tommorow I meet with the social worker and get my PIC line dressing changed, which is thankfully feeling much better since Friday.
Trucking onward......
Friday, November 27, 2009
TGIF
My arm still hurts. I've been told to put a warm pack on it 20 min 4 times a day which I did for the past 2 days. But now my shoulders hurting. I think the sticky part is attached funny and therefore I can't extend my arm without it pulling on my skin. Its very irritating and I just want this thing out. ughhh And the test today is the brutal one where my arms were sore for 3 days having to keep myself propped up for 2 hours so I am just dreading it especially now that my one arm is already sore. grrrrr
For some fun Friday action check out my link...make sure the music is on!!
http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/kvh98yvRuiPlVItD?cmpid=ey_fb_self
For some fun Friday action check out my link...make sure the music is on!!
http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/kvh98yvRuiPlVItD?cmpid=ey_fb_self
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Stinkin PIC line
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!!
Ughhhhh I HATE this PIC line. My arm is so sore! I couldn't get comfy sleeping and woke up on the wrong side of the bed - grouchy.
The procedure to put the PIC line in was wayyyy less traumatic than I was expecting so I was thinking yay ok they don't have to put an IV in me every week for chemo. BUT they put the PIC line in the underside of my elbow... right where it bends so its pretty sore. I guess normally they put it in your upper arm and you don't feel it. When my arm is stationary it doesn't hurt but its sore if it stays in one position for too long and you stretch it out or vice versa. AND to complain a little more its in my right arm which is my dominant arm so I use it a lot more (thats why the nurse wanted to put it in the right side). BAHHH Its just one more physical reminder that I am sick. ANNNND it gets better, cuz Aaron is on midnights and sleeps through the day and Jax is insane I opted to go get the dressing changed rather than have the nurse come to my house. Sooo I had to go get this done at the RETIREMENT HOME! ughhhh lol
Today I am going for a MUGA scan at 2:30... this test isn't bad at all so no worries there. I am petrified for the test on Friday cuz my arm is already sore and its the one where I had to keep myself propped up by my foreams for an hour.
I gotta do something to give me a pick-me-up....maybe I will go for a walk and blast my MP3 player. Or I will transfer everything to my new purse... its goooooorgeous! ahhhhhh
Monday, November 23, 2009
Start of the week!
Just went for a 30 minute walk with Jax which is more exercise than I have gotten in a while. Figure better to stay active when I feel good! Going to get the PIC line put in at noon - I am not thrilled about this.
I would like to say I miss my hair (and I do sometimes) but its nice to be able to get ready for appointments in 10 minutes. hahaha especially on those days when I wouldn't have had the energy to bother. BUT I am thankful for eyebrows and lashes!!!
I would like to say I miss my hair (and I do sometimes) but its nice to be able to get ready for appointments in 10 minutes. hahaha especially on those days when I wouldn't have had the energy to bother. BUT I am thankful for eyebrows and lashes!!!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Sunday morning
Ahhh just woke up....its about 9am. Last night I dreamt that I met a whole room full of people that had cancer and they were all my age, no older no younger. I think the fact that I am constantly being told I am too young to have cancer/too young to be dealing with this is getting to me. I have come to terms with the fact that I am usually the youngest person with cancer in the room when I go to art therapy etc. But when nurses and doctors and other people are constantly saying but you are soo young its annoying. But I have seen a few young people at the cancer centre in passing that I suspect are actual patients and not just the support person. But I'm not gonna just go up to someone and be like "hey do you have cancer wanna be friends?" lol I was called to join a support group at Wellspring where I do the art therapy and Qi Gong that is starting soon but my experience with their centre is that the people who use their services are much older therefore I don't think it will be as relevant to me ... but on the flip side I have a suspicion that older people with cancer aren't quite sure how to relate to me either.
But other than that, having a pretty good weekend so far. Staying busy when I have the energy is key.
Friday night went to a Knights game with the CSF crew. I think I pretty much chatted through the whole game...haha. But the Knights ended up winning in overtime 5-4. It was a good game and we had a lot of fun!!
Yesterday Aaron, Mel and I had a fun filled day starting with breakfast skillets at Malibu. Now that I had discovered I can tolerate feta cheese its like game on!! I had a skillet loaded with feta, tomato, green pepper, mushroom and topped with an over-hard egg. It was delish! Then we went to trails end market and got some great deals on fruits and veggies. Then went back to Mel's place to hang out for a bit and then the girls (Me, Mel, Paula) went to bingo! Mel was the big winner, winning $50! Woohoo! It was a lot of fun!
Now I am up.... Aaron sleeping. Debating about what to do this morning... getting groceries at some point is essential. I have to be in the mood to grocery shop and I'm not sure the mood is saying go right now. But I do know were going for lunch at Dad's later. Looking forward to something yummy as usual.
Time is flying.....Will be starting weekly chemo sessions in about a week. Yep lets keep this show going.
But other than that, having a pretty good weekend so far. Staying busy when I have the energy is key.
Friday night went to a Knights game with the CSF crew. I think I pretty much chatted through the whole game...haha. But the Knights ended up winning in overtime 5-4. It was a good game and we had a lot of fun!!
Yesterday Aaron, Mel and I had a fun filled day starting with breakfast skillets at Malibu. Now that I had discovered I can tolerate feta cheese its like game on!! I had a skillet loaded with feta, tomato, green pepper, mushroom and topped with an over-hard egg. It was delish! Then we went to trails end market and got some great deals on fruits and veggies. Then went back to Mel's place to hang out for a bit and then the girls (Me, Mel, Paula) went to bingo! Mel was the big winner, winning $50! Woohoo! It was a lot of fun!
Now I am up.... Aaron sleeping. Debating about what to do this morning... getting groceries at some point is essential. I have to be in the mood to grocery shop and I'm not sure the mood is saying go right now. But I do know were going for lunch at Dad's later. Looking forward to something yummy as usual.
Time is flying.....Will be starting weekly chemo sessions in about a week. Yep lets keep this show going.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Blogging Delinquent
So I have been a blogging delinquent the past week eh?!
To quickly recap chemo went smoothly but I felt like crap after as usual. Over the weekend I contracted a 24 hr flu bug and couldnt tell if I was nauseous cuz of the flu or the chemo. It was pretty nasty and I feel bad for Aaron cuz I was so darn miserable. I had a headache for 12 hours straight which kept me from sleeping. As soon as I got the go ahead from Dr. Spence to take some tylenol I felt much better. My fever has since gone away and I think I was lucky to get it out of my system so quickly.
I was soooo bored on Mon-Tues with being sick and cooped up in the house. So yesterday I went out and did some xmas shopping to get out of the house. Seems crazy to start so early but I have gotten some great ideas and feel on top of it. I don't want to have to head to the malls mid December when its crazy out there. So better to be doing it this way anyways.
I've also kept busy by doing some colouring and crafting... gonna maybe get together with Amber next week for some scrapbooking mania!
What else... what else....
I am starting Qi Gong tomorrow at Wellspring... sort of like tai chi... hopefully the average attenders age is under 40! :)
Next week is gonna be MAJOR crazy....getting a PIC line put in, and cuz I am almost at the halfway point I have to redo some tests like the MUGA, MIBI, and biopsy. Looks like its time to get another parking pass cuz I am gonna be a regular.
To quickly recap chemo went smoothly but I felt like crap after as usual. Over the weekend I contracted a 24 hr flu bug and couldnt tell if I was nauseous cuz of the flu or the chemo. It was pretty nasty and I feel bad for Aaron cuz I was so darn miserable. I had a headache for 12 hours straight which kept me from sleeping. As soon as I got the go ahead from Dr. Spence to take some tylenol I felt much better. My fever has since gone away and I think I was lucky to get it out of my system so quickly.
I was soooo bored on Mon-Tues with being sick and cooped up in the house. So yesterday I went out and did some xmas shopping to get out of the house. Seems crazy to start so early but I have gotten some great ideas and feel on top of it. I don't want to have to head to the malls mid December when its crazy out there. So better to be doing it this way anyways.
I've also kept busy by doing some colouring and crafting... gonna maybe get together with Amber next week for some scrapbooking mania!
What else... what else....
I am starting Qi Gong tomorrow at Wellspring... sort of like tai chi... hopefully the average attenders age is under 40! :)
Next week is gonna be MAJOR crazy....getting a PIC line put in, and cuz I am almost at the halfway point I have to redo some tests like the MUGA, MIBI, and biopsy. Looks like its time to get another parking pass cuz I am gonna be a regular.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Ding Ding Ding Round 3 tomorrow
Aside from scrapbooking a bit this afternoon having a terrible day thats progressively getting worse - awesome.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MELVIN!
Today is a hard day - its my bestie Melindas birthday. I've been pretty good at staying in control of my social activities - doing what I want, when I want, remaining comfortable in my surroundings. But this morning I woke up with an anxious feeling of seeing people I havn't seen since being diagnosed, not knowing what to talk about, being the elephant in the room. Just feel nervous in general. But I will go and have the best time I can - no expectations. I'm used to being a bit of a social butterfly so these new situations are hard for me. I'm no longer a 20 something year old ignorant to everything around me. In the last post I said I wanted my life back, and well I do but I won't ever be the same so I have to create a new life balanced with health and happiness - the old me plus the new me I want to be. A lot of soul searching has been going on the past month or so...
But onto the exciting news of the day... 27 years ago Melinda Rice was born!
Without sounding too sappy, Melinda's a very special person in my life. We went to the same high school and were acquaintances through Amberley but didn't become friends until after high school when Mel called me randomly and asked if I wanted to hang out. Since then the rest is history! Whether she intends to or not, you're always guaranteed to have a good laugh when Mel's around! haha Mel's very opinionated and will let you know it for instance that she LOVES the band Nickelback as well as The Tragically Hip. She just may challenge you to a danceoff but be sure to bring your helmet as things may get a little crazy. Mel and I have been through many antics over the years including garbage picking to win BSB tickets, dressing up for Halloween in matching gangsta costumes, obsessing over MAC makeup, having dance offs in the car, going on trips to Niagara Falls, sitting in the back of a police car - haha don't worry it was when my windshield got smashed in and we were just catching a ride. I know the past few months have been hard on her just like its been hard on everyone in my life but I want to thank her for being there for me and not trying to understand but support me instead. Cheers to my Squishy and the best birthday year ever!
But onto the exciting news of the day... 27 years ago Melinda Rice was born!
Without sounding too sappy, Melinda's a very special person in my life. We went to the same high school and were acquaintances through Amberley but didn't become friends until after high school when Mel called me randomly and asked if I wanted to hang out. Since then the rest is history! Whether she intends to or not, you're always guaranteed to have a good laugh when Mel's around! haha Mel's very opinionated and will let you know it for instance that she LOVES the band Nickelback as well as The Tragically Hip. She just may challenge you to a danceoff but be sure to bring your helmet as things may get a little crazy. Mel and I have been through many antics over the years including garbage picking to win BSB tickets, dressing up for Halloween in matching gangsta costumes, obsessing over MAC makeup, having dance offs in the car, going on trips to Niagara Falls, sitting in the back of a police car - haha don't worry it was when my windshield got smashed in and we were just catching a ride. I know the past few months have been hard on her just like its been hard on everyone in my life but I want to thank her for being there for me and not trying to understand but support me instead. Cheers to my Squishy and the best birthday year ever!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
TATTOOED!
So I never really planned on getting a tattoo ever but I NEVER thought my first one(s) would be 6 pinhead size dots on my chest. Yes thats right I am now tattooed. To explain further I had my radiation planning appointment this morning. They basically "tattoo" you with these dots so they can line you up with the machine quickly each day and in the same position. Sooo my thought is with todays technology you think something better would be invented like a semi permanent ink!? Sheesh. Anywho it only hurt for a second and felt more like a prison tattoo cuz they used a needley type thing. I should have at least been able to pick out the colour haha. Then after I was told they use magic marker each day to draw a few lines to where each dot is. Lol why didnt they just tattoo the arrows on me too!? Ahhh anyways it wasn't a bad experience just seems a little silly. My first radiation appointment is November 30 and will be every weekday for 6 weeks. Fun times.....
During the appointment I was asked to be part of another study in which you would have to go through the radiation "appointment" a second time but with only a fraction of the radiation... I guess the gist is to measure breathing and heart rate during the appointment to better customize radiation therapy in the future. I declined this study as I am already going to be doing extra tests for the initial study I am part of and I really don't want to be at the Cancer Clinic twice as long each day... even if it would only be for 15 minutes extra. I love how they just spring these studies on you... "oh by the way theres this other study we would like you to participate in... ".... maybe if I had more time to think about it!
Afterwards I went to Cold Springs and had lunch with my work buddies. I was treated to a salad made with love and it was as tasty as I had expected. It was fun to catch up with the ladies but it also made me think of how I miss a daily routine... even if it is work! haha Even though I am going to be going to radiation on a daily basis soon the times will be different everyday.. so its more of a nuisance than a routine.
I didn't sleep that well last night so I am pretty tired right about now but Survivor is on which I have been looking forward to all week. I'm going for RMT tomorrow morning and will spend the rest of the day doing nothing .... I want to get out and do things but each time I see something cough or sneeze and not cover their mouth I cringe. Erghh yuck. Can't afford to get sick especially with the next round of chemo next week.
Back to my appointment this morning, I harassed the technologist ladies to tell me if they could see a lump during the CT scan they just took. They were hesitant to say anything cuz they didnt have the rest of my file to compare anything to but they said that I had noticeable dense breast tissue on the left side which matched the right side but that there was no identifiable mass on the left side they could see. I'm trying not to get too excited but thats EXCELLENT! I guess main purpose of radiation is to target my lymph nodes and extinguish any pesky single cells hiding. I'm going to harass Dr. Dingle on Monday and make him tell me what all this means and how my progress is in comparison to the norm. All I can really say at this point to summarize how I am feeling is EFF OFF AND DIE CANCER cuz I want my life back!
During the appointment I was asked to be part of another study in which you would have to go through the radiation "appointment" a second time but with only a fraction of the radiation... I guess the gist is to measure breathing and heart rate during the appointment to better customize radiation therapy in the future. I declined this study as I am already going to be doing extra tests for the initial study I am part of and I really don't want to be at the Cancer Clinic twice as long each day... even if it would only be for 15 minutes extra. I love how they just spring these studies on you... "oh by the way theres this other study we would like you to participate in... ".... maybe if I had more time to think about it!
Afterwards I went to Cold Springs and had lunch with my work buddies. I was treated to a salad made with love and it was as tasty as I had expected. It was fun to catch up with the ladies but it also made me think of how I miss a daily routine... even if it is work! haha Even though I am going to be going to radiation on a daily basis soon the times will be different everyday.. so its more of a nuisance than a routine.
I didn't sleep that well last night so I am pretty tired right about now but Survivor is on which I have been looking forward to all week. I'm going for RMT tomorrow morning and will spend the rest of the day doing nothing .... I want to get out and do things but each time I see something cough or sneeze and not cover their mouth I cringe. Erghh yuck. Can't afford to get sick especially with the next round of chemo next week.
Back to my appointment this morning, I harassed the technologist ladies to tell me if they could see a lump during the CT scan they just took. They were hesitant to say anything cuz they didnt have the rest of my file to compare anything to but they said that I had noticeable dense breast tissue on the left side which matched the right side but that there was no identifiable mass on the left side they could see. I'm trying not to get too excited but thats EXCELLENT! I guess main purpose of radiation is to target my lymph nodes and extinguish any pesky single cells hiding. I'm going to harass Dr. Dingle on Monday and make him tell me what all this means and how my progress is in comparison to the norm. All I can really say at this point to summarize how I am feeling is EFF OFF AND DIE CANCER cuz I want my life back!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Cooking update
So I went to the grocery store for a few groceries and ingredients and I am whipped! Sheesh I havn't done the grocery shopping in a few weeks and after I finished bringing in the bags I decided the actual cooking will begin tomorrow ha!
Cycle 2 Day 15
Helloooo, Happy Tuesday all my friends!
Feeling pretty good this week but I know it will all come crashing down again after next chemo in a week. Sooo in preparation I am doing some cooking today to have some stuff to freeze. Mom's been really good about keeping my fridge stocked but I feel like cooking today. I have some steak in the crockpot and will make some wild and brown rice to go with it. Then I found a dairy free mac n cheese recipe (oxymoron much) to try... cross your fingers for me cuz I have had a hankering for some ooey gooey mac n cheese. I've discovered I can also tolerate goat cheese which is super duper exciting. I'm not going overboard but at least I can use it on pizza and salads to liven things up.
Halloween was excellent and I had a lot of fun. Maintaining the ability to have fun is super important during this time and holidays are seeming to take on more excitement. We went to an actual Halloween party at the Marconi Club and it was cool to see everyone so dressed up in fancy costumes. And Friday we went to a few haunted houses with the gang. I was actually so scared at the first haunted house especially when the scary clown came after me. After this weekend I was definitely pooped. I can't stay up that late when my usual bedtime has become 10pm on weekends. But I don't regret it cuz it was so fun.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Last minute costume ideas
If anyone needs a last minute costume idea here are some good ones I have come across:
- Gum on the bottom of a shoe (dress in pink and glue gun a shoe to a headband and wear on your head)
- Stick man (wear black and glue glow sticks to you)
- Octomom (get a long black wig and attach 8 baby dolls to you)
- Highway (dress in black and use yellow tape to make a "road" and then attach dinky cars to you)
- Facebook (write "BOOK" on your face)
- Auctioneer (dress in a suit and talk really fast and end every sentence with going once going twice, sold!)
- Gum on the bottom of a shoe (dress in pink and glue gun a shoe to a headband and wear on your head)
- Stick man (wear black and glue glow sticks to you)
- Octomom (get a long black wig and attach 8 baby dolls to you)
- Highway (dress in black and use yellow tape to make a "road" and then attach dinky cars to you)
- Facebook (write "BOOK" on your face)
- Auctioneer (dress in a suit and talk really fast and end every sentence with going once going twice, sold!)
HAPPY HALLOWS EVE!!!!
Just been chillin out the last few days.... stomach was nauseaus for the first few days of the week but seems to have settled. And my tongue is feeling raw on the one side. So I am definitely feeling the "other" side effects of the chemo.
To recap the week firstoff Sunday was my birthday!! I got lots of fun presents from family and friends and went and spent some of my bday $$ on craft supplies. Different than spending it all on clothes which I usually do! Mom made me a delicious dairy and gluten free lasagna that was a big hit and I ate the leftovers for 3 days. haha yummm.
Went to art therapy of Tuesday and discovered I really enjoy colouring mandala circles so I ordered a Mandala colouring book off chapters that I will meditate to by colouring and listening to M.J.! I was dancing around the house the other day while crafting listening to Don't stop to you get enough and trying to do the moonwalk. It was quite the sight but luckily nobody was home to see it! ha! I am in much better spirits this week than last which is good cuz last week I was scary depressed for a few days. The nurses told me the chemo effects would be accumulative but instead I thought your body would get more used to it and deal.
My brother Ashraf is growing a MOustache for MOvember month in New Zealand. So check out his site here: http://nz.movember.com/mospace/190061/
I voted for a pencil thin creepy moustache but we both decided that "that look" wouldn't go over so well for a teacher of small children. I guess it must be in the big and bushy category!
Janan is home this weekend so she's gonna pick me up and I'm going to carve my pumpkin while she bakes delicious gluten free treats! I'm excited for Halloween tomorrow and I LOVE handing out candy. We've got the good stuff to hand out like Doritos, skittles, starburst, and chocolate! I am dressing up as Cupid which is really gonna be a big ball of pink with a bow and arrow but should be fun times and I will post pics. The accompanying wig is awesome....lol.
Having things/events to look forward to are really keeping me positive which I need so I don't get down in the dumps. I wish my mouth felt better but it'll probably get worse first.
And have I mentioned that I LOVE halloween!?!?
To recap the week firstoff Sunday was my birthday!! I got lots of fun presents from family and friends and went and spent some of my bday $$ on craft supplies. Different than spending it all on clothes which I usually do! Mom made me a delicious dairy and gluten free lasagna that was a big hit and I ate the leftovers for 3 days. haha yummm.
Went to art therapy of Tuesday and discovered I really enjoy colouring mandala circles so I ordered a Mandala colouring book off chapters that I will meditate to by colouring and listening to M.J.! I was dancing around the house the other day while crafting listening to Don't stop to you get enough and trying to do the moonwalk. It was quite the sight but luckily nobody was home to see it! ha! I am in much better spirits this week than last which is good cuz last week I was scary depressed for a few days. The nurses told me the chemo effects would be accumulative but instead I thought your body would get more used to it and deal.
My brother Ashraf is growing a MOustache for MOvember month in New Zealand. So check out his site here: http://nz.movember.com/mospace/190061/
I voted for a pencil thin creepy moustache but we both decided that "that look" wouldn't go over so well for a teacher of small children. I guess it must be in the big and bushy category!
Janan is home this weekend so she's gonna pick me up and I'm going to carve my pumpkin while she bakes delicious gluten free treats! I'm excited for Halloween tomorrow and I LOVE handing out candy. We've got the good stuff to hand out like Doritos, skittles, starburst, and chocolate! I am dressing up as Cupid which is really gonna be a big ball of pink with a bow and arrow but should be fun times and I will post pics. The accompanying wig is awesome....lol.
Having things/events to look forward to are really keeping me positive which I need so I don't get down in the dumps. I wish my mouth felt better but it'll probably get worse first.
And have I mentioned that I LOVE halloween!?!?
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Cycle 2 Day 3
I am so tired and groggy.... Just slept for a few hours but still feel sleepy. I HATE that feeling. Little more nauseaus today than yesterday. Probably all the meds have settled in. yuck. Dad is making me baked cassava for a snack. Overall I feel icky.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Cycle 2 Day 2
Well I made it through Chemo round 2... after a few pokee, missed veins, and a nurse change yuck. Was going through hot flashes and waves of nausea about every 30 minutes last night. Took 2 sleeping pills and slept through the night and woke up around 10 when Mom showed up. Its essential that I have a snack/small meal every 2 hours to keep my stomach settled or else I get that gross nausea feeling when you are soooo hungry and you just feel sick. Gonna watch Harry Potter with Mom after Ellen and will check in later.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Cycle 1 Day 21!!
Its the last day before next chemo! Aaron and I just got back from the Cancer Clinic where I had my blood test and consult with Dr. Dingle. The tumor has shrunk after just 1 chemo which gives meaning to why I am going through all of this. It was originally 4x6 cm and today it measured in at 3x4 cm which probably isn't totally accurate cuz its hard to even feel where it is now. Dr. Dingle said its better than what they were expecting, so thats exciting. After that appointment I met with the Social Worker for a quick check in.
Tomorrow is Chemo round deux. Mel and Aaron are coming with me and Mel's gonna hang out with me for the rest of the day when Aaron has to go to work.
I would estimate my head hair is 65% gone and its itchy wearing a a hat all the time because of the prickliness but its too cold to not wear one!
I have to go to the Ministry of Transportation today because I realize my license expires Sunday. I will break out one of the wigs for the picture. I'm going to relax the rest of the day and maybe have a nap and then its dinner and Lord of the Dance with Mom tonight. Woohoo! Gonna pack my chee-mo bag so I am all set for tomorrow - magazine, mints, drink, snack, hand sanitizer, scarf!
Tomorrow is Chemo round deux. Mel and Aaron are coming with me and Mel's gonna hang out with me for the rest of the day when Aaron has to go to work.
I would estimate my head hair is 65% gone and its itchy wearing a a hat all the time because of the prickliness but its too cold to not wear one!
I have to go to the Ministry of Transportation today because I realize my license expires Sunday. I will break out one of the wigs for the picture. I'm going to relax the rest of the day and maybe have a nap and then its dinner and Lord of the Dance with Mom tonight. Woohoo! Gonna pack my chee-mo bag so I am all set for tomorrow - magazine, mints, drink, snack, hand sanitizer, scarf!
Friday, October 16, 2009
Cycle 1 Day 18
I have decided instead of counting overall days I am counting days in the cycle.
I'm looking forward to my bday dinner with friends on Saturday at Cello...gonna get dressed up! I am pretty tired today cuz I didn't sleep too soundly. I've been trying not to take the sleeping pills if I don't have too. At around 4am I was going to take one but thought I already had and didn't want to take another but now I realize I hadn't taken anything...arghh
The Look Good Feel Better program Mel and I went to this week was great! I got a lot of fun free stuff and full size bottles not just sample size like I was expecting from brands like Cover Girl, Marcelle, Mary Kay, MAC, Avon, Dove, etc! And the makeup colours in my box of goodies actually worked with my skin tone which I also was not expecting. So overall it was a success! Mel noticed that once again I was the youngest person of the bunch by about 20 years but thats ok, it was a fun time.
Holy crap I just looked out the window and realize theres snow out there! No wonder I have the sniffles... I blasted the heat last night and its super chilly outside. When Mom called this morning asking if I had a winter jacket and that she needed hers back I was thinking whats the rush! haha I see now!
I am going to enjoy the next 3 days of physically feeling well. Too bad we kinda skipped fall and moved right into winter. How am I supposed to get out and walk with it being so cold!?!
I'm looking forward to my bday dinner with friends on Saturday at Cello...gonna get dressed up! I am pretty tired today cuz I didn't sleep too soundly. I've been trying not to take the sleeping pills if I don't have too. At around 4am I was going to take one but thought I already had and didn't want to take another but now I realize I hadn't taken anything...arghh
The Look Good Feel Better program Mel and I went to this week was great! I got a lot of fun free stuff and full size bottles not just sample size like I was expecting from brands like Cover Girl, Marcelle, Mary Kay, MAC, Avon, Dove, etc! And the makeup colours in my box of goodies actually worked with my skin tone which I also was not expecting. So overall it was a success! Mel noticed that once again I was the youngest person of the bunch by about 20 years but thats ok, it was a fun time.
Holy crap I just looked out the window and realize theres snow out there! No wonder I have the sniffles... I blasted the heat last night and its super chilly outside. When Mom called this morning asking if I had a winter jacket and that she needed hers back I was thinking whats the rush! haha I see now!
I am going to enjoy the next 3 days of physically feeling well. Too bad we kinda skipped fall and moved right into winter. How am I supposed to get out and walk with it being so cold!?!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
I am a cancer patient.
Yesterday I woke up feeling like myself just that I have cancer. Today I woke up feeling like I am a cancer patient. What happened in between? The hair on my head started coming out several strands at a time as I ran my fingers through my hair. Then I kept doing it to really make sure it was coming out and not just a fluke that there were 15 strands of hair in my palm. It's no fluke its coming out... some spots more than others but I'm not about to wait around and find out where I'm gonna be bald first. Diane was going to give me a buzz but I don't think I can wait til tonight cuz she's at work. I may head to first choice around the corner. I doubt they could screw up a shaved head BUT it is first choice haha. I didn't sleep much last night because I kept thinking that when I wake up I would find big chunks of hair on my pillow and bald patches on my head...this was not the case but my head is still ultra sensitive when the hair is moved different directions. It just wasn't comfortable to sleep.
Along with the hair, my nails are brittle and my skin seems drier than normal. This could be because of the weather but its these changes that make you feel like a cancer patient. The medicine they are giving me attacks all rapidly dividing cells (ie cancer, hair, stomach lining, nails, etc) and can't tell the difference. Its scary to think of the changes and stress your body will go through during this process. I think the tumour has shrunk a little bit since the first treatment which is a good sign! I'm not really looking forward to next weeks chemo but I want to keep moving with the process cuz then it will be over sooner.
Mel and I are going to the Look Good Feel Better program tonight at the Cancer Clinic. I think today is a good day for a self esteem boost. Free stuff here I come.
Along with the hair, my nails are brittle and my skin seems drier than normal. This could be because of the weather but its these changes that make you feel like a cancer patient. The medicine they are giving me attacks all rapidly dividing cells (ie cancer, hair, stomach lining, nails, etc) and can't tell the difference. Its scary to think of the changes and stress your body will go through during this process. I think the tumour has shrunk a little bit since the first treatment which is a good sign! I'm not really looking forward to next weeks chemo but I want to keep moving with the process cuz then it will be over sooner.
Mel and I are going to the Look Good Feel Better program tonight at the Cancer Clinic. I think today is a good day for a self esteem boost. Free stuff here I come.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Mayday Mayday!
What do you do at 9pm on a Tuesday night when you realize the hair on your head is falling out!? Go to the variety store in your pj's and get a grape slurpee and a bag of chips and email your friend for a buzz cut tomorrow. Makes sense perfect sense right!?
Photo shoot!
Art therapy went great today. I really enjoyed it and will go back to try it out again. I got 2 of my hats that I ordered from Etsy today. Both are very cute and soft and will keep my noggin warm as the weather gets colder. I also received a super cool gift from my friend Daun today. Its the glass art in the pic. Its done by Artist Kim McKellar (www.gaiaglass.blogspot.com). It's extremely beautiful and was a super duper surprise - so thank you very much! I checked out her blog and her work is amazing. There is a larger version on for auction at the Braz for a Cause this Friday at the Western Fair (www.brazforthecause.com). Seems as though tickets are sold out to the event but I will check it out next year.
Goooood Morning - Day 15
Good Morning all!
I hope everyone had a great turkey weekend. I did! I am feeling good except for getting exhausted really easily. But the nausea and headaches have gone away. YIPPEE!
Saturday we went apple picking at Apple Land. Won't be going back there ever! They charged $3 per person just to get on the farm plus the cost of a 10 or 20 lb bag for the apples. There was no extra charge last year so it seems like a money grab. BUT we had a nice time walking around and getting some fresh air. Then we went to Under the the Volcano for dinner with the fam and ate yummy chips and guacamole. No tacos - but the salad was good! After that we headed to Amber and Amanda's bday party. I won the game woohoo and got a Cheetah Girls barbie!
On Sunday I realized I had pushed myself a little too much on Saturday cuz I was super tired. We went to my Grandpa's house for turkey dinner and my mom had even made stuffing from gluten free bread! yummm. I got to see cousins and Aunts and Uncles for the first time since being diagnosed. I left feeling exhausted but it was a great afternoon and I am glad that most of the family could be there.
Yesterday Teresa and I went to see Couples Retreat which was pretty funny and then I went to Mom and Dad's for dinner. So the fridge is stocked with a ton of leftovers from the weekend which is exciting!
Today I am going to art therapy which is a bit intimidating because I am not sure what to expect... but I am going to give it a try and see how it goes. I told Mom and Dad they may have some artwork for the fridge after I'm done.
Theres one week left til the next chemo so I am just trying to relax and destress this week in preparation. I am starting to lose some body hair and my scalp has been ultra sensitive. I bet I will lose my hair all of a sudden after next chemo. I am prepared for it... but I thought it would happen sooner. This whole thing is a mental game... and I am working through things one day at a time.
I hope everyone had a great turkey weekend. I did! I am feeling good except for getting exhausted really easily. But the nausea and headaches have gone away. YIPPEE!
Saturday we went apple picking at Apple Land. Won't be going back there ever! They charged $3 per person just to get on the farm plus the cost of a 10 or 20 lb bag for the apples. There was no extra charge last year so it seems like a money grab. BUT we had a nice time walking around and getting some fresh air. Then we went to Under the the Volcano for dinner with the fam and ate yummy chips and guacamole. No tacos - but the salad was good! After that we headed to Amber and Amanda's bday party. I won the game woohoo and got a Cheetah Girls barbie!
On Sunday I realized I had pushed myself a little too much on Saturday cuz I was super tired. We went to my Grandpa's house for turkey dinner and my mom had even made stuffing from gluten free bread! yummm. I got to see cousins and Aunts and Uncles for the first time since being diagnosed. I left feeling exhausted but it was a great afternoon and I am glad that most of the family could be there.
Yesterday Teresa and I went to see Couples Retreat which was pretty funny and then I went to Mom and Dad's for dinner. So the fridge is stocked with a ton of leftovers from the weekend which is exciting!
Today I am going to art therapy which is a bit intimidating because I am not sure what to expect... but I am going to give it a try and see how it goes. I told Mom and Dad they may have some artwork for the fridge after I'm done.
Theres one week left til the next chemo so I am just trying to relax and destress this week in preparation. I am starting to lose some body hair and my scalp has been ultra sensitive. I bet I will lose my hair all of a sudden after next chemo. I am prepared for it... but I thought it would happen sooner. This whole thing is a mental game... and I am working through things one day at a time.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Day 9 - wedNESday
So yes today is Wednesday and for some reason I can't remember how to spell Wendsday. So I will just have to pronounce it wed-nes-day.
Anywho... today was a busy day.
First went to my consultation with Dr. Glen Bell a naturopathic doctor who specializes in cancer treatments. It was a productive visit and we discussed various things I can do to maintain my health and heart during and after treatment. Then I visited the girls at work for lunch and had a salad "made with love" by Earl, the older guy who works in the employee market. It was delish as I had anticipated! Being at work made me realize how I miss being busy and feeling useful. I love my job no matter how crazy it got there and it sucks that its put on hold. BUT I must focus my strength on maintaining my health and keep stress to a minimum. After lunch I headed to a meeting with Marlene the social worker at the Cancer Clinic. We chatted about various things going on and it was a helpful meeting. We're going to meet every few weeks and basically keep track of my mental health. I am finding it easier to talk to strangers about how I am feeling probably because there is no pressure in being strong. I can babble away about whatever, which is probably why I am enjoying blogging as well! I am a quiet independent person by nature and have to make an effort not to withdraw and shut out those that are close to me especially when I am by myself the majority of the day. While I was there I signed up for the Look Good Feel Better Program next week. It's a makeup/wig/beauty help session for people undergoing chemo. Sounds good especially cuz you get free stuff and I've got Mel coming with me as my "female support person". She better take extra careful notes on eyebrow application! :)
So then after that I headed home and made a delicious lupper of chicken salad sandwich loaded with veggies on a gluten free bun with coleslaw and a cob of corn. I have been reading that your metabolism goes way up from the chemo drugs which is probably why I am feeling hungry every 2 hours. One of my new favourite snacks is grapes with mango sorbet! mmmm
Yesterday I took a trip to Wellspring, which is a center for cancer patients downtown. They have a bunch of free programs. I kinda walked in and announced to the lady that I have cancer and I wasn't sure what I was doing there. ha! But it turned out good! I had a good sit down and chat with the volunteer who was older but spunky. She told me a little bit of her history of cancer which gave me inspiration. She gave me a good perspective on using alternative therapies/supplements which I have been going back and forth on. Then she signed me up for a bunch of classes including Art Therapy, the Lebed method (which I need to figure out what it is exactly), Qi Gong, Reiki, and a peer support group. Should keep me busy between appointments! Yoga was full so I skipped that but I am now on the hunt for a yoga studio that offers a good beginners class. I want a class where I can keep up but not seniors in chairs. After doing some googling I have a couple of studios to try out. If anyone wants to come with me let me know!
So thats pretty much it for an update.... theres nothing scheduled for tomorrow. I'm feeling good... patiently waiting for my hair to fall out. Gonna start my paint by numbers artwork, take the dog for a walk, go to the bakery.... and REST!
Some Links if you're interested!
http://www.dancemedia.com/v/613 -PLEASE watch this video... BAHAHAHAH It's a video on the Lebed method which I signed up for. I shouldn't laugh... but ....just watch and picture ME! HAHA Seems I may not need the classes as there is a whole series of them on youtube!!
www.wellspring.ca
www.lgfb.ca (Look Good Feel Better)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qigong
Anywho... today was a busy day.
First went to my consultation with Dr. Glen Bell a naturopathic doctor who specializes in cancer treatments. It was a productive visit and we discussed various things I can do to maintain my health and heart during and after treatment. Then I visited the girls at work for lunch and had a salad "made with love" by Earl, the older guy who works in the employee market. It was delish as I had anticipated! Being at work made me realize how I miss being busy and feeling useful. I love my job no matter how crazy it got there and it sucks that its put on hold. BUT I must focus my strength on maintaining my health and keep stress to a minimum. After lunch I headed to a meeting with Marlene the social worker at the Cancer Clinic. We chatted about various things going on and it was a helpful meeting. We're going to meet every few weeks and basically keep track of my mental health. I am finding it easier to talk to strangers about how I am feeling probably because there is no pressure in being strong. I can babble away about whatever, which is probably why I am enjoying blogging as well! I am a quiet independent person by nature and have to make an effort not to withdraw and shut out those that are close to me especially when I am by myself the majority of the day. While I was there I signed up for the Look Good Feel Better Program next week. It's a makeup/wig/beauty help session for people undergoing chemo. Sounds good especially cuz you get free stuff and I've got Mel coming with me as my "female support person". She better take extra careful notes on eyebrow application! :)
So then after that I headed home and made a delicious lupper of chicken salad sandwich loaded with veggies on a gluten free bun with coleslaw and a cob of corn. I have been reading that your metabolism goes way up from the chemo drugs which is probably why I am feeling hungry every 2 hours. One of my new favourite snacks is grapes with mango sorbet! mmmm
Yesterday I took a trip to Wellspring, which is a center for cancer patients downtown. They have a bunch of free programs. I kinda walked in and announced to the lady that I have cancer and I wasn't sure what I was doing there. ha! But it turned out good! I had a good sit down and chat with the volunteer who was older but spunky. She told me a little bit of her history of cancer which gave me inspiration. She gave me a good perspective on using alternative therapies/supplements which I have been going back and forth on. Then she signed me up for a bunch of classes including Art Therapy, the Lebed method (which I need to figure out what it is exactly), Qi Gong, Reiki, and a peer support group. Should keep me busy between appointments! Yoga was full so I skipped that but I am now on the hunt for a yoga studio that offers a good beginners class. I want a class where I can keep up but not seniors in chairs. After doing some googling I have a couple of studios to try out. If anyone wants to come with me let me know!
So thats pretty much it for an update.... theres nothing scheduled for tomorrow. I'm feeling good... patiently waiting for my hair to fall out. Gonna start my paint by numbers artwork, take the dog for a walk, go to the bakery.... and REST!
Some Links if you're interested!
http://www.dancemedia.com/v/613 -PLEASE watch this video... BAHAHAHAH It's a video on the Lebed method which I signed up for. I shouldn't laugh... but ....just watch and picture ME! HAHA Seems I may not need the classes as there is a whole series of them on youtube!!
www.wellspring.ca
www.lgfb.ca (Look Good Feel Better)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qigong
Monday, October 5, 2009
Mondays are Fundays
Its noon and today I've already ....had breakfast, watched tv, surfed the net, and just had lunch! Very productive!
I have decided to go and get an eyebrow wax this afternoon. Contradictory I know... but I quite enjoy getting my eyebrows done and they haven't started to fall out YET so I might as well keep them groomed. I can't stand the bushy disarray they are in now. I know Melissa from work will understand this wholeheartedly...AND while I am there I will explain the situation to the girl I normally see and hopefully she won't be freaked out and will be able to see me on a regular basis to keep them looking normal and filled in. So thats the plan for today. I feel MUCH better than yesterday... !
Also gonna work on my Halloween costume over the next few weeks. Our neighbours go hog wild decorating so we at least do a pumpkin and hand out candy. My costume is kind of a secret for now....but its gonna be "sweet"! teehee
Still takin er easy... don't want to get burnt out from doing close to nothing!
I have decided to go and get an eyebrow wax this afternoon. Contradictory I know... but I quite enjoy getting my eyebrows done and they haven't started to fall out YET so I might as well keep them groomed. I can't stand the bushy disarray they are in now. I know Melissa from work will understand this wholeheartedly...AND while I am there I will explain the situation to the girl I normally see and hopefully she won't be freaked out and will be able to see me on a regular basis to keep them looking normal and filled in. So thats the plan for today. I feel MUCH better than yesterday... !
Also gonna work on my Halloween costume over the next few weeks. Our neighbours go hog wild decorating so we at least do a pumpkin and hand out candy. My costume is kind of a secret for now....but its gonna be "sweet"! teehee
Still takin er easy... don't want to get burnt out from doing close to nothing!
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Sunday ohh Sunday
Today: cold, more like FREEZING.
Went to the CIBC Run for the Cure this morning and want to say thanks to everyone for participating and bringing awareness to breast cancer. I got to see my Mom, the girls from work, and friends! I don't think I should have been out for that long though cuz I got a bad chill and took me about 4 hours to feel warm again.
I feel like crap today in general. Was a little nauseaus this morning and it hasnt gotten any better since being home for the afternoon. I hate napping and have felt groggy and sluggish all afternoon. It sucks.
Being at the race today reminded that when I am healthy again to remember today and not take my health for granted. I wish it was me walking with my friends and family as opposed to sitting on the sideline watching being tired and grumpy. Having your health is super precious and I miss it more than anything. Being able to just go to sleep without a sleeping aid or getting out of bed feeling rested and ready to take on a full day of tasks would be awesome. But I am only just beginning this journey and am glad I don't feel worse....but its draining to feel like this.
Went to the CIBC Run for the Cure this morning and want to say thanks to everyone for participating and bringing awareness to breast cancer. I got to see my Mom, the girls from work, and friends! I don't think I should have been out for that long though cuz I got a bad chill and took me about 4 hours to feel warm again.
I feel like crap today in general. Was a little nauseaus this morning and it hasnt gotten any better since being home for the afternoon. I hate napping and have felt groggy and sluggish all afternoon. It sucks.
Being at the race today reminded that when I am healthy again to remember today and not take my health for granted. I wish it was me walking with my friends and family as opposed to sitting on the sideline watching being tired and grumpy. Having your health is super precious and I miss it more than anything. Being able to just go to sleep without a sleeping aid or getting out of bed feeling rested and ready to take on a full day of tasks would be awesome. But I am only just beginning this journey and am glad I don't feel worse....but its draining to feel like this.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Day 5
Its Saturrdaaaay! So onto day 5 and feeling pretty ok. Have a TINY sore throat this morning which could be attributed to a multitude of things including turning the furnace on for the first time this season - its freeeezing!
I'm done my first round of meds and just have the emergency nausea ones if I need them. So far so good. I need to go get some groceries and will probably do that fairly soon so its not packed.
Not sure what the plan will be for the rest of the day... probably take it easy and rest. Its too wet and yucky to go outside. Hopefully it warms up for tomorrow's run!
The one thing I was not prepared for was the blurriness in my eyes. It's totally caught me off guard. I am finding it hard to focus on stuff. Poor Tree came and visited me last night and I was staring at the top of her head cuz it was the easiest thing to focus on. I called the hospital nurse and she told me that I should be fine as long as I'm not bumping into things... riiiight. So I will just go with it and hope this side effect goes away very shortly.
I'm done my first round of meds and just have the emergency nausea ones if I need them. So far so good. I need to go get some groceries and will probably do that fairly soon so its not packed.
Not sure what the plan will be for the rest of the day... probably take it easy and rest. Its too wet and yucky to go outside. Hopefully it warms up for tomorrow's run!
The one thing I was not prepared for was the blurriness in my eyes. It's totally caught me off guard. I am finding it hard to focus on stuff. Poor Tree came and visited me last night and I was staring at the top of her head cuz it was the easiest thing to focus on. I called the hospital nurse and she told me that I should be fine as long as I'm not bumping into things... riiiight. So I will just go with it and hope this side effect goes away very shortly.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Day 3
Not too sure how I feel today. Bored and restless...but nauseas if I am up on my feet too long. I kinda feel like ripping my hair out just to get that part over with. Mom bought me a couple of cute hats I picked out on Etsy to keep my noggin warm once it gets cold. Mom and Dad have been awesome but I want to go home soon. Sucks that Aaron took this week off work to take care of me only to be sick. But such is life. I'm looking forward to Janan coming home tonight as I'm sure she can entertain me.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Day 2
Just got home from the radiologist appointment. Felt pretty decent most of the morning until I was standing looking at charts with the Doc and got all woozy and had to make a run for the bathroom while he was midsentence. Another thing to note: standing in one place not good - sitting better.
Back at Dad's house and Mom's gonna make me lunch.. I am hungry. Aaron's still sick so I am here for another day or two. I miss him and Jax. Therefore I'm gonna spend the afternoon with Mom, Harry Potter, and Jasper.
Back at Dad's house and Mom's gonna make me lunch.. I am hungry. Aaron's still sick so I am here for another day or two. I miss him and Jax. Therefore I'm gonna spend the afternoon with Mom, Harry Potter, and Jasper.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Day 1
Got home around noon. Felt really bad between 2-4pm. Maybe cuz I hadn't eaten really anything all day. Feel much better now at 6:30 after Mom made me spaghetti for dinner and I ate some homemade gluten free apple crisp dessert. I am suprised its all staying down but food definitely helped. Going through hot/cold issues and feel a flu like headache. So I doubt I can complain too much cuz I am not doubled over the toilet with nausea...but I can still whine a little bit like everyone when they don't feel too great.
Aarons sick so I am over at Dad's place. It sucks he can't be around but I can't afford to get sick. If anyone wants to come visit over the next few days let me know cuz I will be here...just give me a warning to make sure I am feeling a-ok so I can fix the Pat Benetar/bedhead hair I have going on at the moment. ha! But you have to stay away if you are sick or have been sick lately. Dad's bringing home face masks :)
Radiation consultation appt tomorrow at 11 and other than that... REST.
My cell phone is dead (for now) and I am using my old phone cuz the other one is broken so I don't have any contacts saved. Please text me so I can resave your # and let me know who it is in the text... cuz I didn't memorize any #'s.
Taking it one hour at a time....
Aarons sick so I am over at Dad's place. It sucks he can't be around but I can't afford to get sick. If anyone wants to come visit over the next few days let me know cuz I will be here...just give me a warning to make sure I am feeling a-ok so I can fix the Pat Benetar/bedhead hair I have going on at the moment. ha! But you have to stay away if you are sick or have been sick lately. Dad's bringing home face masks :)
Radiation consultation appt tomorrow at 11 and other than that... REST.
My cell phone is dead (for now) and I am using my old phone cuz the other one is broken so I don't have any contacts saved. Please text me so I can resave your # and let me know who it is in the text... cuz I didn't memorize any #'s.
Taking it one hour at a time....
Monday, September 28, 2009
The big kahuna of chemo's
Me ....chemo tomorrow. Not sure what the next 6 months will bring. But I need to tell myself - hair enhances your outward appearance it does not define you, life will go on for those around me, I will feel better eventually, makeup does wonders for self esteem, and I am not alone.
Here's the plan stan:
Week 1 - Chemo FEC (Fluorouracil, Epirubicin, Cyclophosphamide)
Week 4 - Chemo FEC
Week 7 - Chemo FEC
Week 10-18 - Weekly Chemo Docetaxel
Week 10-15 - Daily Radiation (w/chemo)
My mission: eat clean, stay positive, be as active as possible (so I need ppl to drag me out for a walk k?!), and take things one hour at a time.
Hair Schmair
Cut the hair off today! Well my good friend Diane did it for me. It was less traumatizing then I expected. Once it starts falling out I will get Diane to shave it off. I also posted pics of the 2 wigs I got. Needs some fine tuning and styling but you get the jist. I miss my big curly hair but I will have to deal with it... cuz I doubt I will get used to it. Definitely gonna need a few hats cuz today is chilly and my head feels bare... and its only Sept!
Tomorrow is chemo day.... still not sure what to expect. The doc told me not to eat a lot tomorrow to see how my stomach feels.
Mel is coming over tonight and I'm gonna suggest we go to Shoppers to check out the makeup counter. I think I need to get some fresh new makeup ... to feel a little prettier. I doubt Mel will turn this shopping trip down :)
Tomorrow is chemo day.... still not sure what to expect. The doc told me not to eat a lot tomorrow to see how my stomach feels.
Mel is coming over tonight and I'm gonna suggest we go to Shoppers to check out the makeup counter. I think I need to get some fresh new makeup ... to feel a little prettier. I doubt Mel will turn this shopping trip down :)
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Adios Ttttttttoronto!
Heading home after spening a weekend with the lil sis! It was a good visit and for the most part I felt like a somewhat normal person touring around the T.dot. But I found myself just getting super tired by mid afternoon and it was frustrating cuz I wanted to galavant all around town...but my body was just like theres not enough energy.
After spending the last year talking about how we want to go to the Science Centre, that was Aaron and my plan for yesterday afternoon. So we head out there at around 1pm. Theres a gigantic line to get in the parking lot... but we figure that its Saturday and just busy. We head inside and area greeted by a lady handing us our free tickets. I was like huh free tickets?! Well I guess just our luck we decided to go on the Science Centre's birthday and it was free admission. IT WAS PACKED... we tried to walk around for 15 minutes and then decided to leave. You couldnt look at anything without there being a kid screaming like a wild banshee running around us. All food items were .69 which was the cost when the Science centre opened. It was like every parent was in this food lineup while their kids were let loose to run around. Aaron and I were like no thanks! So we left. What a bummer. We ended up just driving around and ended up seeing Greek town, little Italy, Korea town, and China town.
We stopped for a few minutes at Janan's place and then went for a walk down Yonge St. towards the Eaton centre. About 10 minutes into the walk I felt really miserable... it was too crowded, half raining and tired. We went into the Winners on College St. which is huge and normally I would be in my glory but it was too crowded and I felt claustrophobic and overheated. Janan met us there and we left and went walking back in the direction to Janan's place. I had been googling Mexican restuarants for 2 days and on our walk we ended up seeing a place. Its called Cucino Lucera south of Young and Welleselley. It totally hit the spot and I was excited to get my tacos. They weren't crunchy tacos but boy was it good! Fresh homemade corn tortillas and guacamole...mmmmm So now we have a mexican hookup within walking distance from Janan's place.
There's also this store called Noah's across from Janan's place and I was able to score some vegan (no egg no dairy) gluten free german chocolate cake and some rice parmesan cheese. yummm. I will have to put in an oder for Janan next time she comes home ha!
Throw in some shopping and all in all it was a good getaway. Just frustrated at how quickly I was exhausted and literally ready for bed by 8pm (7pm yesterday!!) Poor Aaron... I know he wanted to hit the town.
I ended up with this kit from Sephora for brows. I am gonna practice a bit at home...
http://www.toofaced.com/product_template.asp?dept_sub_id=17&dept_id=3&cat_id=34
I'm getting anxious about starting treatment this week but thats still 2 days away and I can't let my nerves get the best of me. Heading out for brekkie soon cuz I'm STARVING... !!
After spending the last year talking about how we want to go to the Science Centre, that was Aaron and my plan for yesterday afternoon. So we head out there at around 1pm. Theres a gigantic line to get in the parking lot... but we figure that its Saturday and just busy. We head inside and area greeted by a lady handing us our free tickets. I was like huh free tickets?! Well I guess just our luck we decided to go on the Science Centre's birthday and it was free admission. IT WAS PACKED... we tried to walk around for 15 minutes and then decided to leave. You couldnt look at anything without there being a kid screaming like a wild banshee running around us. All food items were .69 which was the cost when the Science centre opened. It was like every parent was in this food lineup while their kids were let loose to run around. Aaron and I were like no thanks! So we left. What a bummer. We ended up just driving around and ended up seeing Greek town, little Italy, Korea town, and China town.
We stopped for a few minutes at Janan's place and then went for a walk down Yonge St. towards the Eaton centre. About 10 minutes into the walk I felt really miserable... it was too crowded, half raining and tired. We went into the Winners on College St. which is huge and normally I would be in my glory but it was too crowded and I felt claustrophobic and overheated. Janan met us there and we left and went walking back in the direction to Janan's place. I had been googling Mexican restuarants for 2 days and on our walk we ended up seeing a place. Its called Cucino Lucera south of Young and Welleselley. It totally hit the spot and I was excited to get my tacos. They weren't crunchy tacos but boy was it good! Fresh homemade corn tortillas and guacamole...mmmmm So now we have a mexican hookup within walking distance from Janan's place.
There's also this store called Noah's across from Janan's place and I was able to score some vegan (no egg no dairy) gluten free german chocolate cake and some rice parmesan cheese. yummm. I will have to put in an oder for Janan next time she comes home ha!
Throw in some shopping and all in all it was a good getaway. Just frustrated at how quickly I was exhausted and literally ready for bed by 8pm (7pm yesterday!!) Poor Aaron... I know he wanted to hit the town.
I ended up with this kit from Sephora for brows. I am gonna practice a bit at home...
http://www.toofaced.com/product_template.asp?dept_sub_id=17&dept_id=3&cat_id=34
I'm getting anxious about starting treatment this week but thats still 2 days away and I can't let my nerves get the best of me. Heading out for brekkie soon cuz I'm STARVING... !!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
I am starting to get the feeling back in my arms....
Just got home from the last of the tests...the MIBI. This was by far the WORST test. FIRST they want to give you an injection in your foot... ughhh ick omg I get the heeby jeebys thinking about it. I was dreading it all week but told myself to suck it up and it will be 2 minutes of horror. Well instead of tying that rubber band on your upper arm, they tie it on your ankle so then after 30 seconds you can feel your foot throbbing then its PAIN as they try to jab you in a vein in your foot. It didn't go over so well and she ended up giving me the injection in my arm. So lesson learned... you never HAVE to have an injection in your foot... don't do it.
The MIBI test consisted was physically and mentally trying because u have to lay face down with your arms above your heard except theres nothing supporting your chest so its wreaking havoc on your spine and shoulders and upper arms. I had to stay perfectly still for 25 min, then 3 intervals of 5 minutes. THEN I had to come back in 2 hours and do it all over again. BRUTAL. Needless to say I booked a 30 min massage therapy session for 3:15.
Aaron and I are going to go visit Janan and Rubina tomorrow. I'm pretty excited and gonna go to Sephora to check out eyebrow stencils. I'm sure Aaron will want to make a trip to the Billabong store which is fine cuz he deserves it.
Melinda and I went on a hard shell taco hunt in London 2 weekends ago with not much success (Taco Bell does not apply). So I've got Janan on the hunt in Toronto to find me hard shell tacos AND a gluten free pasta restaurant.
Stress is building so I am glad to get away for a few days. A walk around Toronto should clear my head a bit. AND I am excited for vegan german chocolate cake.
The MIBI test consisted was physically and mentally trying because u have to lay face down with your arms above your heard except theres nothing supporting your chest so its wreaking havoc on your spine and shoulders and upper arms. I had to stay perfectly still for 25 min, then 3 intervals of 5 minutes. THEN I had to come back in 2 hours and do it all over again. BRUTAL. Needless to say I booked a 30 min massage therapy session for 3:15.
Aaron and I are going to go visit Janan and Rubina tomorrow. I'm pretty excited and gonna go to Sephora to check out eyebrow stencils. I'm sure Aaron will want to make a trip to the Billabong store which is fine cuz he deserves it.
Melinda and I went on a hard shell taco hunt in London 2 weekends ago with not much success (Taco Bell does not apply). So I've got Janan on the hunt in Toronto to find me hard shell tacos AND a gluten free pasta restaurant.
Stress is building so I am glad to get away for a few days. A walk around Toronto should clear my head a bit. AND I am excited for vegan german chocolate cake.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
CIBC Run for the Cure SHOUT OUT!!
I have found out some awesome people I know are participating in the CIBC Run for the Cure on Sunday Oct 4! I will attend but won't be running/walking but want to thank everyone who is involved. Your support to find a cure for this disease is truly amazing :) !!!
If anyone would like to donate to one of my SUPER DUPER friends please go to the following website and you can search by name (London) to donate to their group.
https://www.cibcrunforthecure.com/html/participant_search.asp
The Cold Spring Farm ladies (The Supper Clubbers) can be found under one of the following names: Dimitra Bolton, Kim Mendonca, Karen Martin, Melissa Mathers
La Vie en Rose where all of you know I used to work is very involved with breast cancer. It's the company's "charity"! Some of my old crew is participating as the La Vie en Rose team which you can find by searching: Andria Hazlewood.
Mom has told me a few of her friends will be participating including Debbie Vickers.
My good friends Teresa Bannon (Team Mares) and Lauren Moon are also participating in the Run.
If I missed anyone I apologize and let me know so I can give a big shout out! I know a lot of people are running for multiple people they know who have been effected by breast cancer. It's extremely touching and I want to say THANK YOU!
If anyone would like to donate to one of my SUPER DUPER friends please go to the following website and you can search by name (London) to donate to their group.
https://www.cibcrunforthecure.com/html/participant_search.asp
The Cold Spring Farm ladies (The Supper Clubbers) can be found under one of the following names: Dimitra Bolton, Kim Mendonca, Karen Martin, Melissa Mathers
La Vie en Rose where all of you know I used to work is very involved with breast cancer. It's the company's "charity"! Some of my old crew is participating as the La Vie en Rose team which you can find by searching: Andria Hazlewood.
Mom has told me a few of her friends will be participating including Debbie Vickers.
My good friends Teresa Bannon (Team Mares) and Lauren Moon are also participating in the Run.
If I missed anyone I apologize and let me know so I can give a big shout out! I know a lot of people are running for multiple people they know who have been effected by breast cancer. It's extremely touching and I want to say THANK YOU!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
A productive day so far!
CT scan was a strange experience. Upon arrivng had to drink 2 litres of what tasted like bad well water at room temperature. Some sort of concoction for the test. This was yucky at 8am...Then for the test the injection was warm and I was told you would feel like you peed your pants. Which I did.... I asked the technologist to please check and assure me that in fact I had not peed all over the CT table. After a quick check I was good to go.
Dad and I then met with Dr. Dingle the Oncologist. A good meeting and I'm confirmed to start chemo next Tuesday and not like this Thursday like I was mentally preparing myself for. I discussed natural supplements/herbs etc with the doc and he has requested that I do not take any natural supplements until after chemo...not sure how I feel about this as I had been having good talks with Dr. Shaw my naturopath about what I can do to help with the side effects of chemo. I will have to ponder this some more and have another app. on Friday with the naturopath.
The last test today is the bone scan. I had to go in at 11:30 and was given a radioactive injection and have to go back at 3:30 for the acutal test. So Mom, Dad, and I had a yummy soup and salad lunch at Williams before Mom and I headed back to the house for R&R.
I am looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow morning (probably til 8am! ha!). I'm pondering the idea of heading to Toronto for the weekend as I don't start chemo til next week and Aaron has Friday off.
CT scan was a strange experience. Upon arrivng had to drink 2 litres of what tasted like bad well water at room temperature. Some sort of concoction for the test. This was yucky at 8am...Then for the test the injection was warm and I was told you would feel like you peed your pants. Which I did.... I asked the technologist to please check and assure me that in fact I had not peed all over the CT table. After a quick check I was good to go.
Dad and I then met with Dr. Dingle the Oncologist. A good meeting and I'm confirmed to start chemo next Tuesday and not like this Thursday like I was mentally preparing myself for. I discussed natural supplements/herbs etc with the doc and he has requested that I do not take any natural supplements until after chemo...not sure how I feel about this as I had been having good talks with Dr. Shaw my naturopath about what I can do to help with the side effects of chemo. I will have to ponder this some more and have another app. on Friday with the naturopath.
The last test today is the bone scan. I had to go in at 11:30 and was given a radioactive injection and have to go back at 3:30 for the acutal test. So Mom, Dad, and I had a yummy soup and salad lunch at Williams before Mom and I headed back to the house for R&R.
I am looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow morning (probably til 8am! ha!). I'm pondering the idea of heading to Toronto for the weekend as I don't start chemo til next week and Aaron has Friday off.
...no title
It's 6:20am on Tuesday... I am tired...maybe clocked in 2 hours of sleep. My mind won't stop charging full speed ahead and its hard to slow down. However physically I feel sluggish. - not a good combo.
Dad's picking me up in half an hour to go to the CT scan, followed by a meeting with the Oncologist and heading to South St. hospital for the bone scan. Its going to be a loooong morning, but at least if they have to rush I won't be sitting around in waiting rooms all day.
Gonna take some grapes and a gluten free blueberry muffin with me but its just too early too eat right now.
One word to describe the last few days - overwhelming.
Dad's picking me up in half an hour to go to the CT scan, followed by a meeting with the Oncologist and heading to South St. hospital for the bone scan. Its going to be a loooong morning, but at least if they have to rush I won't be sitting around in waiting rooms all day.
Gonna take some grapes and a gluten free blueberry muffin with me but its just too early too eat right now.
One word to describe the last few days - overwhelming.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Agent 007
Well I couldn't sleep at alllll last night. My eyes started going all crosseyed reading Harry Potter at around 9:30pm so I put the book down and passed out for about an hour before waking up at 11ish and then I was up every 15 min or so after that. Finally at 7am I decided to take a sleeping pill which conked me out till 10:30am. When I woke up Aaron had cleaned the kitchen and tidied the living room... awww !! Not sure where he is now.. maybe the gym?
So still sore from yesterday's biopsy which also contributed to my restless sleep as I couldn't get comfy. The actual biopsy was a piece of cake compared to last time when I have 4 sites done at one time. I guess I am starting to be a pro at it.
Yesterday was our first visit (Aaron, Mom, Dad, and me) to the Cancer Clinic at Vic Hospital. It is a busy place!! We met with Dr. Brackstone who discussed my treatment plan and the study. The anticipated start date for chemo is next Thursday. My CT scan was bumped up to Tuesday and I will meet the oncologist later that day. Need to squeeze in a few more tests before then, so bring it on! It was also confirmed that I will be losing 100% of my hair and that should start around 2 weeks after the first round of chemo. I have been mentally preparing myself for this but..it is just hair and I know there will be far bigger hurdles physically down the road. And to tell you the truth I am more aprehensive about losing my eyebrows!! I was told there is a Look Good Feel Good program at the Cancer clinic which deals with makeup etc.... this could either be helpful or really cheesy. Please send a good makeup artist my way or else I will be making a trip to MAC on the art of eyebrow stenciling.
Mom and I ventured out in the late afternoon to search for wigs. The cancer clinic had given me a list of places to check out in London which was longer than I expected.
Our first stop was "Just Between Friends" by Wellington & Commissioners. It was scary and intimidating walking into the store. And then once you see a wall of wigs on plastic heads... the fear and realization that yes I will be wearing a wig and not just for Halloween sets in. Almost had a mini melt down but sucked it up and started picking out ones I thought looked nice. After a try on session of about 8 I narrowed it down to 2 - a short mod bob that made me feel like a 007 secret spy agent (in a good way!) and a long dark layered cut. The saleslady wrote down the 2 styles and we decided to check out some other places.
Next went to Abiento across the street. Very strange... most lights off and the 2 salespeople sat at the front desk and didn't say a word to us as we walked to the wig section at the back of the store. (Very different vibe than first store) Mom and I did a quick once over and decided to leave. On our way out the one sales lady asked "that was quick, didn't find what you were looking for?" to which I responded "Well...its quite intimidating walking into a store to look for a wig and neither of you even said hi to us or got out of your chair". (GO ME!!) They looked at us rather stunned then started stumbling over their words... I ended up trying on 2 wigs their and one was ok... I just wasn't feeling the whole experience. So we left.
Next stop... K-Laba on Dundas in a little bit of a sketchy area so not sure what to expect. Not your typical cancer wig store... more like weaves and wigs for everybody! Walked in and immediately saw a big difference in price (cancer wig stores ranged $250-500, while this store was $50-$300). But we did not see a difference in quality. The wigs at the previous stores were nice but they were almost too perfect and had that wiggy look. The wigs at this store looked like normal hair! So I had a bit of a self Diva moment trying on wigs that actually resembled my hair/look. Much more success here and I felt like myself. We ended up purchasing a long dark wavy wig with highlights and a shiny super straight dark wig that went just past my shoulders. For younger people I would definitely recommend this store as they were super helpful and chemo patients got 5% off! HA!
Funny Story: We bought 2 styrafoam heads to keep the wigs on. I had set them on the table by the front door and when Jax realized they were there he started a growling at them AHAHAH. Apparently he's not a fan of styrafoam heads.
Today is going to be a non cancer day as Aaron and I are helping get things together for Doug and Paula's wedding. BUT that could change as I am on call in case they can get me in for tests so I can't go far.
THE PLAN as it stands:
- Tuesday: CT Scan (booked), Bone Scan (booked), see Dr. Dingle Oncologist (booked)
- Thursday: MIBI scan (tbd), see Dr. Yew Radiologist, start Chemo (tbd)
So still sore from yesterday's biopsy which also contributed to my restless sleep as I couldn't get comfy. The actual biopsy was a piece of cake compared to last time when I have 4 sites done at one time. I guess I am starting to be a pro at it.
Yesterday was our first visit (Aaron, Mom, Dad, and me) to the Cancer Clinic at Vic Hospital. It is a busy place!! We met with Dr. Brackstone who discussed my treatment plan and the study. The anticipated start date for chemo is next Thursday. My CT scan was bumped up to Tuesday and I will meet the oncologist later that day. Need to squeeze in a few more tests before then, so bring it on! It was also confirmed that I will be losing 100% of my hair and that should start around 2 weeks after the first round of chemo. I have been mentally preparing myself for this but..it is just hair and I know there will be far bigger hurdles physically down the road. And to tell you the truth I am more aprehensive about losing my eyebrows!! I was told there is a Look Good Feel Good program at the Cancer clinic which deals with makeup etc.... this could either be helpful or really cheesy. Please send a good makeup artist my way or else I will be making a trip to MAC on the art of eyebrow stenciling.
Mom and I ventured out in the late afternoon to search for wigs. The cancer clinic had given me a list of places to check out in London which was longer than I expected.
Our first stop was "Just Between Friends" by Wellington & Commissioners. It was scary and intimidating walking into the store. And then once you see a wall of wigs on plastic heads... the fear and realization that yes I will be wearing a wig and not just for Halloween sets in. Almost had a mini melt down but sucked it up and started picking out ones I thought looked nice. After a try on session of about 8 I narrowed it down to 2 - a short mod bob that made me feel like a 007 secret spy agent (in a good way!) and a long dark layered cut. The saleslady wrote down the 2 styles and we decided to check out some other places.
Next went to Abiento across the street. Very strange... most lights off and the 2 salespeople sat at the front desk and didn't say a word to us as we walked to the wig section at the back of the store. (Very different vibe than first store) Mom and I did a quick once over and decided to leave. On our way out the one sales lady asked "that was quick, didn't find what you were looking for?" to which I responded "Well...its quite intimidating walking into a store to look for a wig and neither of you even said hi to us or got out of your chair". (GO ME!!) They looked at us rather stunned then started stumbling over their words... I ended up trying on 2 wigs their and one was ok... I just wasn't feeling the whole experience. So we left.
Next stop... K-Laba on Dundas in a little bit of a sketchy area so not sure what to expect. Not your typical cancer wig store... more like weaves and wigs for everybody! Walked in and immediately saw a big difference in price (cancer wig stores ranged $250-500, while this store was $50-$300). But we did not see a difference in quality. The wigs at the previous stores were nice but they were almost too perfect and had that wiggy look. The wigs at this store looked like normal hair! So I had a bit of a self Diva moment trying on wigs that actually resembled my hair/look. Much more success here and I felt like myself. We ended up purchasing a long dark wavy wig with highlights and a shiny super straight dark wig that went just past my shoulders. For younger people I would definitely recommend this store as they were super helpful and chemo patients got 5% off! HA!
Funny Story: We bought 2 styrafoam heads to keep the wigs on. I had set them on the table by the front door and when Jax realized they were there he started a growling at them AHAHAH. Apparently he's not a fan of styrafoam heads.
Today is going to be a non cancer day as Aaron and I are helping get things together for Doug and Paula's wedding. BUT that could change as I am on call in case they can get me in for tests so I can't go far.
THE PLAN as it stands:
- Tuesday: CT Scan (booked), Bone Scan (booked), see Dr. Dingle Oncologist (booked)
- Thursday: MIBI scan (tbd), see Dr. Yew Radiologist, start Chemo (tbd)
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
MUGA WHA!?
So the MUGA scan turned out to be very uneventful... they took some blood, separated the red blood cells and inserted radioactive material and gave it back to me (injection). Then I had to lie on a table'y thing and this hunk of flat plastic (I am sure theres more to it) was moved close to my chest. Next thing I know the technologist told me.."ok one more picture to go"...I then asked when the lights and noises were going to start!? haha I guess cuz the only thing I had to compare it to was an MRI which buzzzes and bangs and is bright (ask Ashraf for a great impression). She told me this was one of the most uneventful tests and I have to agree although I still don't like having blood taken.. BAHH. Mom and I have agreed that blood taking is a skill...
Aaron suggested I shave the hair on my arm where they stick tape to hold the cotton ball down. Good call... why didn't I think of this sooner!? HA
Tomorrow I am going for another core biopsy at St. Joe's which needs to be done before they perform the rest of the tests (bone scan, CT scan, MIBI). Then I have to head to LHSC to the Cancer Clinic to meet Dr. Brackstone who is heading the study and get me all set up.
Moms been taking me to all these test while Aaron is sleeping cuz he's on midnight. She's been keeping me busy which I really appreciate although it was nice to finally come home and rest.
I saw Dr. Shaw my naturopath yesterday and she's referred me to a Naturopathic Dr. in London that specializes in oncology. There are apparently a lot of natural things I can do (supplements, herbs, juicing, vit C therapy) that will make the journey easier. I am looking forward to pursuing these possibilities!
I am feeling restless today... I just want things to move forward. Although I am being reassured by my family doc and all the other medical people involved that this whole process is moving quickly. But for me it feels like FORRREEVERRR. It feels like my life is still while everyone elses is moving forward. But I don't know if thats 100% negative because I am taking some "me" time, seeing what really matters and blah blah all that stuff.
NEXT
- Tomorrow: Core Biopsy, meet Study Surgeon
Aaron suggested I shave the hair on my arm where they stick tape to hold the cotton ball down. Good call... why didn't I think of this sooner!? HA
Tomorrow I am going for another core biopsy at St. Joe's which needs to be done before they perform the rest of the tests (bone scan, CT scan, MIBI). Then I have to head to LHSC to the Cancer Clinic to meet Dr. Brackstone who is heading the study and get me all set up.
Moms been taking me to all these test while Aaron is sleeping cuz he's on midnight. She's been keeping me busy which I really appreciate although it was nice to finally come home and rest.
I saw Dr. Shaw my naturopath yesterday and she's referred me to a Naturopathic Dr. in London that specializes in oncology. There are apparently a lot of natural things I can do (supplements, herbs, juicing, vit C therapy) that will make the journey easier. I am looking forward to pursuing these possibilities!
I am feeling restless today... I just want things to move forward. Although I am being reassured by my family doc and all the other medical people involved that this whole process is moving quickly. But for me it feels like FORRREEVERRR. It feels like my life is still while everyone elses is moving forward. But I don't know if thats 100% negative because I am taking some "me" time, seeing what really matters and blah blah all that stuff.
NEXT
- Tomorrow: Core Biopsy, meet Study Surgeon
Monday, September 14, 2009
SUPPORT?
I am seeking any support groups/young breast cancer people?! Let me know if you have any leads!
Also - this blog can be shared with friends, friends of friends, family, etc...
Also - this blog can be shared with friends, friends of friends, family, etc...
Links
http://www.uptodate.com/patients/content/topic.do?topicKey=~OpyPPJz32oB2c
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MUGA_scan
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MUGA_scan
Well here it is... I am officially a blogger.
I am officially a blogger! This blog will be about my story, how I'm feeling, whats going on, and just in general about ME!
So to recap the past month here goes:
- Discovered large lump in left breast mid August
- Immediately made Dr. appointment who referred me to an ultrasound at St. Joe's. No Sweat! I have been there many times before monitoring a lump on the right side.
- August 28/09 go for ultrasound which turned into 4 core biopsies the same day and a referral for an MRI. Again mehhh they are just taking precautions... and the Dr's are being extra thorough... SWEET!
- Sept 3/09 go in for MRI and realize that MRI's are usually a 4-6 week wait. hmmmm. After the MRI head to a mammogram. By this time I am thinking something may be wrong, maybe I will need surgery just to be on the safe side, maybe its cancer but really what are the chances. Same day head to family Dr. for the results of the biopsy where I am told both bioposies on the left side came back positive for cancer and the biopsies from the right side were not. HOLY SHIT... I have cancer....no serioulsy....ok I have cancer?!? I half listned to the rest of the conversation with the Dr. so thank goodness Aaron was with me. Seriously.. thank you Aaron.
Fast forward 1 week of waiting, lack of sleep, boredom, anxiety,... you name it, I felt it... to Sept 10/09 where I met with the Surgeon and we reviewed the results from the MRI. She informed me I have Locally Advanced Breast Cancer (LABC) which only accounts for 5-10% of breast cancers. Not the easiest to treat but not the worst.
I have agreed to be part of a study for LABC patients where they combine chemo and radiation at the same time. I thought well since this cancer has decided to be aggressive, I sure as hell am going to be! Since then I have been waiting for tests... The plan is chemo & radiation first agressively for 6 months followed by surgery.
The plan for this week... WAITING for phone calls from an extremely helpful nurse.
- MUGA scan booked for Wednesday
- Meeting with study Dr. and Oncologist Thursday
Should have 1-2 more tests between now and Wednesday.
Well thats the jist of the details...hoping to get more info on Thursday and lets get this thing effing started.
Ps Thanks to Aaron, Mom, Dad, Janan, & Ashraf during those first few weeks.... you guys kept me focused and grounded. mucho appreciation.
So to recap the past month here goes:
- Discovered large lump in left breast mid August
- Immediately made Dr. appointment who referred me to an ultrasound at St. Joe's. No Sweat! I have been there many times before monitoring a lump on the right side.
- August 28/09 go for ultrasound which turned into 4 core biopsies the same day and a referral for an MRI. Again mehhh they are just taking precautions... and the Dr's are being extra thorough... SWEET!
- Sept 3/09 go in for MRI and realize that MRI's are usually a 4-6 week wait. hmmmm. After the MRI head to a mammogram. By this time I am thinking something may be wrong, maybe I will need surgery just to be on the safe side, maybe its cancer but really what are the chances. Same day head to family Dr. for the results of the biopsy where I am told both bioposies on the left side came back positive for cancer and the biopsies from the right side were not. HOLY SHIT... I have cancer....no serioulsy....ok I have cancer?!? I half listned to the rest of the conversation with the Dr. so thank goodness Aaron was with me. Seriously.. thank you Aaron.
Fast forward 1 week of waiting, lack of sleep, boredom, anxiety,... you name it, I felt it... to Sept 10/09 where I met with the Surgeon and we reviewed the results from the MRI. She informed me I have Locally Advanced Breast Cancer (LABC) which only accounts for 5-10% of breast cancers. Not the easiest to treat but not the worst.
I have agreed to be part of a study for LABC patients where they combine chemo and radiation at the same time. I thought well since this cancer has decided to be aggressive, I sure as hell am going to be! Since then I have been waiting for tests... The plan is chemo & radiation first agressively for 6 months followed by surgery.
The plan for this week... WAITING for phone calls from an extremely helpful nurse.
- MUGA scan booked for Wednesday
- Meeting with study Dr. and Oncologist Thursday
Should have 1-2 more tests between now and Wednesday.
Well thats the jist of the details...hoping to get more info on Thursday and lets get this thing effing started.
Ps Thanks to Aaron, Mom, Dad, Janan, & Ashraf during those first few weeks.... you guys kept me focused and grounded. mucho appreciation.
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