TGIF

My arm still hurts. I've been told to put a warm pack on it 20 min 4 times a day which I did for the past 2 days. But now my shoulders hurting. I think the sticky part is attached funny and therefore I can't extend my arm without it pulling on my skin. Its very irritating and I just want this thing out. ughhh And the test today is the brutal one where my arms were sore for 3 days having to keep myself propped up for 2 hours so I am just dreading it especially now that my one arm is already sore. grrrrr

For some fun Friday action check out my link...make sure the music is on!!
http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/kvh98yvRuiPlVItD?cmpid=ey_fb_self

Stinkin PIC line

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!!

Ughhhhh I HATE this PIC line. My arm is so sore! I couldn't get comfy sleeping and woke up on the wrong side of the bed - grouchy.

The procedure to put the PIC line in was wayyyy less traumatic than I was expecting so I was thinking yay ok they don't have to put an IV in me every week for chemo. BUT they put the PIC line in the underside of my elbow... right where it bends so its pretty sore. I guess normally they put it in your upper arm and you don't feel it. When my arm is stationary it doesn't hurt but its sore if it stays in one position for too long and you stretch it out or vice versa. AND to complain a little more its in my right arm which is my dominant arm so I use it a lot more (thats why the nurse wanted to put it in the right side). BAHHH Its just one more physical reminder that I am sick. ANNNND it gets better, cuz Aaron is on midnights and sleeps through the day and Jax is insane I opted to go get the dressing changed rather than have the nurse come to my house. Sooo I had to go get this done at the RETIREMENT HOME! ughhhh lol

Today I am going for a MUGA scan at 2:30... this test isn't bad at all so no worries there. I am petrified for the test on Friday cuz my arm is already sore and its the one where I had to keep myself propped up by my foreams for an hour.

I gotta do something to give me a pick-me-up....maybe I will go for a walk and blast my MP3 player. Or I will transfer everything to my new purse... its goooooorgeous! ahhhhhh

Start of the week!

Just went for a 30 minute walk with Jax which is more exercise than I have gotten in a while. Figure better to stay active when I feel good! Going to get the PIC line put in at noon - I am not thrilled about this.

I would like to say I miss my hair (and I do sometimes) but its nice to be able to get ready for appointments in 10 minutes. hahaha especially on those days when I wouldn't have had the energy to bother. BUT I am thankful for eyebrows and lashes!!!

Sunday morning

Ahhh just woke up....its about 9am. Last night I dreamt that I met a whole room full of people that had cancer and they were all my age, no older no younger. I think the fact that I am constantly being told I am too young to have cancer/too young to be dealing with this is getting to me. I have come to terms with the fact that I am usually the youngest person with cancer in the room when I go to art therapy etc. But when nurses and doctors and other people are constantly saying but you are soo young its annoying. But I have seen a few young people at the cancer centre in passing that I suspect are actual patients and not just the support person. But I'm not gonna just go up to someone and be like "hey do you have cancer wanna be friends?" lol I was called to join a support group at Wellspring where I do the art therapy and Qi Gong that is starting soon but my experience with their centre is that the people who use their services are much older therefore I don't think it will be as relevant to me ... but on the flip side I have a suspicion that older people with cancer aren't quite sure how to relate to me either.

But other than that, having a pretty good weekend so far. Staying busy when I have the energy is key.

Friday night went to a Knights game with the CSF crew. I think I pretty much chatted through the whole game...haha. But the Knights ended up winning in overtime 5-4. It was a good game and we had a lot of fun!!
Yesterday Aaron, Mel and I had a fun filled day starting with breakfast skillets at Malibu. Now that I had discovered I can tolerate feta cheese its like game on!! I had a skillet loaded with feta, tomato, green pepper, mushroom and topped with an over-hard egg. It was delish! Then we went to trails end market and got some great deals on fruits and veggies. Then went back to Mel's place to hang out for a bit and then the girls (Me, Mel, Paula) went to bingo! Mel was the big winner, winning $50! Woohoo! It was a lot of fun!

Now I am up.... Aaron sleeping. Debating about what to do this morning... getting groceries at some point is essential. I have to be in the mood to grocery shop and I'm not sure the mood is saying go right now. But I do know were going for lunch at Dad's later. Looking forward to something yummy as usual.

Time is flying.....Will be starting weekly chemo sessions in about a week. Yep lets keep this show going.

Blogging Delinquent

So I have been a blogging delinquent the past week eh?!

To quickly recap chemo went smoothly but I felt like crap after as usual. Over the weekend I contracted a 24 hr flu bug and couldnt tell if I was nauseous cuz of the flu or the chemo. It was pretty nasty and I feel bad for Aaron cuz I was so darn miserable. I had a headache for 12 hours straight which kept me from sleeping. As soon as I got the go ahead from Dr. Spence to take some tylenol I felt much better. My fever has since gone away and I think I was lucky to get it out of my system so quickly.

I was soooo bored on Mon-Tues with being sick and cooped up in the house. So yesterday I went out and did some xmas shopping to get out of the house. Seems crazy to start so early but I have gotten some great ideas and feel on top of it. I don't want to have to head to the malls mid December when its crazy out there. So better to be doing it this way anyways.

I've also kept busy by doing some colouring and crafting... gonna maybe get together with Amber next week for some scrapbooking mania!

What else... what else....

I am starting Qi Gong tomorrow at Wellspring... sort of like tai chi... hopefully the average attenders age is under 40! :)

Next week is gonna be MAJOR crazy....getting a PIC line put in, and cuz I am almost at the halfway point I have to redo some tests like the MUGA, MIBI, and biopsy. Looks like its time to get another parking pass cuz I am gonna be a regular.

Ding Ding Ding Round 3 tomorrow

Aside from scrapbooking a bit this afternoon having a terrible day thats progressively getting worse - awesome.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MELVIN!

Today is a hard day - its my bestie Melindas birthday. I've been pretty good at staying in control of my social activities - doing what I want, when I want, remaining comfortable in my surroundings. But this morning I woke up with an anxious feeling of seeing people I havn't seen since being diagnosed, not knowing what to talk about, being the elephant in the room. Just feel nervous in general. But I will go and have the best time I can - no expectations. I'm used to being a bit of a social butterfly so these new situations are hard for me. I'm no longer a 20 something year old ignorant to everything around me. In the last post I said I wanted my life back, and well I do but I won't ever be the same so I have to create a new life balanced with health and happiness - the old me plus the new me I want to be. A lot of soul searching has been going on the past month or so...

But onto the exciting news of the day... 27 years ago Melinda Rice was born!
Without sounding too sappy, Melinda's a very special person in my life. We went to the same high school and were acquaintances through Amberley but didn't become friends until after high school when Mel called me randomly and asked if I wanted to hang out. Since then the rest is history! Whether she intends to or not, you're always guaranteed to have a good laugh when Mel's around! haha Mel's very opinionated and will let you know it for instance that she LOVES the band Nickelback as well as The Tragically Hip. She just may challenge you to a danceoff but be sure to bring your helmet as things may get a little crazy. Mel and I have been through many antics over the years including garbage picking to win BSB tickets, dressing up for Halloween in matching gangsta costumes, obsessing over MAC makeup, having dance offs in the car, going on trips to Niagara Falls, sitting in the back of a police car - haha don't worry it was when my windshield got smashed in and we were just catching a ride. I know the past few months have been hard on her just like its been hard on everyone in my life but I want to thank her for being there for me and not trying to understand but support me instead. Cheers to my Squishy and the best birthday year ever!

TATTOOED!

So I never really planned on getting a tattoo ever but I NEVER thought my first one(s) would be 6 pinhead size dots on my chest. Yes thats right I am now tattooed. To explain further I had my radiation planning appointment this morning. They basically "tattoo" you with these dots so they can line you up with the machine quickly each day and in the same position. Sooo my thought is with todays technology you think something better would be invented like a semi permanent ink!? Sheesh. Anywho it only hurt for a second and felt more like a prison tattoo cuz they used a needley type thing. I should have at least been able to pick out the colour haha. Then after I was told they use magic marker each day to draw a few lines to where each dot is. Lol why didnt they just tattoo the arrows on me too!? Ahhh anyways it wasn't a bad experience just seems a little silly. My first radiation appointment is November 30 and will be every weekday for 6 weeks. Fun times.....
During the appointment I was asked to be part of another study in which you would have to go through the radiation "appointment" a second time but with only a fraction of the radiation... I guess the gist is to measure breathing and heart rate during the appointment to better customize radiation therapy in the future. I declined this study as I am already going to be doing extra tests for the initial study I am part of and I really don't want to be at the Cancer Clinic twice as long each day... even if it would only be for 15 minutes extra. I love how they just spring these studies on you... "oh by the way theres this other study we would like you to participate in... ".... maybe if I had more time to think about it!

Afterwards I went to Cold Springs and had lunch with my work buddies. I was treated to a salad made with love and it was as tasty as I had expected. It was fun to catch up with the ladies but it also made me think of how I miss a daily routine... even if it is work! haha Even though I am going to be going to radiation on a daily basis soon the times will be different everyday.. so its more of a nuisance than a routine.

I didn't sleep that well last night so I am pretty tired right about now but Survivor is on which I have been looking forward to all week. I'm going for RMT tomorrow morning and will spend the rest of the day doing nothing .... I want to get out and do things but each time I see something cough or sneeze and not cover their mouth I cringe. Erghh yuck. Can't afford to get sick especially with the next round of chemo next week.

Back to my appointment this morning, I harassed the technologist ladies to tell me if they could see a lump during the CT scan they just took. They were hesitant to say anything cuz they didnt have the rest of my file to compare anything to but they said that I had noticeable dense breast tissue on the left side which matched the right side but that there was no identifiable mass on the left side they could see. I'm trying not to get too excited but thats EXCELLENT! I guess main purpose of radiation is to target my lymph nodes and extinguish any pesky single cells hiding. I'm going to harass Dr. Dingle on Monday and make him tell me what all this means and how my progress is in comparison to the norm. All I can really say at this point to summarize how I am feeling is EFF OFF AND DIE CANCER cuz I want my life back!

Cooking update

So I went to the grocery store for a few groceries and ingredients and I am whipped! Sheesh I havn't done the grocery shopping in a few weeks and after I finished bringing in the bags I decided the actual cooking will begin tomorrow ha!

Cycle 2 Day 15

Helloooo, Happy Tuesday all my friends!

Feeling pretty good this week but I know it will all come crashing down again after next chemo in a week. Sooo in preparation I am doing some cooking today to have some stuff to freeze. Mom's been really good about keeping my fridge stocked but I feel like cooking today. I have some steak in the crockpot and will make some wild and brown rice to go with it. Then I found a dairy free mac n cheese recipe (oxymoron much) to try... cross your fingers for me cuz I have had a hankering for some ooey gooey mac n cheese. I've discovered I can also tolerate goat cheese which is super duper exciting. I'm not going overboard but at least I can use it on pizza and salads to liven things up.

Halloween was excellent and I had a lot of fun. Maintaining the ability to have fun is super important during this time and holidays are seeming to take on more excitement. We went to an actual Halloween party at the Marconi Club and it was cool to see everyone so dressed up in fancy costumes. And Friday we went to a few haunted houses with the gang. I was actually so scared at the first haunted house especially when the scary clown came after me. After this weekend I was definitely pooped. I can't stay up that late when my usual bedtime has become 10pm on weekends. But I don't regret it cuz it was so fun.